My potential

So after a long day of handling school business, I sat down and thought to myself for a while. I've decided that I really wasnt living up to my full potential. I've been settling for less in the past and some time this present. I dont do it on purpose it just happens. I remember a friend of mine told me that right now in my life I dont need a real bad, sexy girlfriend. To just get a average girl because those are the ones who mind is right and knows you for you. And if you and her break up after you have your career together you have the chance to get that super bad chick because you are established. I just really need to get myself together because my potential meter is really high and i need to meet up with it. Right now im on the low part i need to get mid way then to the highest point.

My self-made Auto-Biography

The quote “You live what you learn” is something that I have lived by for as long as I can remember. I know the way my family raised me impacted my worldview. I was raised by a single mother and into a Christian family. I also went to a Christian private school from grades 1-12, so I’ve been surrounded by religious influence my whole life. Me, myself I’m not as religious as maybe some of the members of my family are, but when it comes to certain thoughts and opinions about God I can be bias. I do believe in God. I do not believe in evolution. I just can’t see myself developing from a monkey or I would have been born with fur. I believe my mother and grandmother influence my outlook on life. My grandmother has to be one of the most religious people I’ve ever known. She was a big influence on how I look at the world today. At first I took this class because I thought I needed it for a school I was transferring to, but after finding out that I didn’t need this class anymore I was going to drop it but by that time I was interested and it was kind of too late to drop also. I learned a lot about the past by reading the textbooks and lectures. Learning about old philosophers and what they believed in intrigued me. I came into this class knowing I had to have my eyes and mind open because I knew this would be different from what I’ve learned throughout my years in Christian school. I believe religion has impacted most of my decisions I have made in my life. Especially when it came to picking friends and girlfriends. I can’t really say much about my choice of girlfriends because in the past I have dated a lot of idiots. But I blame myself for that because I didn’t stick to the morals and standards that my family had instilled into me growing up when choosing a woman. But as far as friends are concerned, I know I have some of the best friends ever. All my friends I have known for about 10 to 11 years. I do have one friend who I’ve known for about 20 years. I haven’t made any new friends since my days in the Navy. My friends and I act similar in thinking. That’s why we get along and have been for so long. We all have goals that we are trying to meet and we are all around the same age. My family and friends are very important to me. I love my family more then anything. My family has always been there even when I didn’t want them around. The same can be said about my friends. No matter what happens my friends are always there threw good and bad. I’ve come into contact with a lot of people threw the years but I do not call them friends. To me friends are people who know you inside and out, care about you, and will always be there and give you good advice when you need it. It sort of makes you think about the type of people you have around you if you don’t have friends who have those qualities. When it comes to more personal things, like for instance money, I believe the way I was raised really hasn’t had an effect on how I spend my money. My mom used to always tell me even to this day to only buy things that you need compared to things that you want. But of course I don’t listen to that. I tend to buy whatever I want no matter of price. If I can afford it then I will buy it. Sometimes I can even be selfish with my money and really think about myself when buying things. And that was not how I was raised but sometimes money can take over a person’s life. I must spend at least 200-300 dollars every two or three weeks. I have about 40-50 movies, that I still haven’t watched and I’ve had forever, video games that are at the most 60 dollars apiece, not including 5 game systems. Now in the rest of my house there are ordinary things, not a flat screen television, not an expensive apple computer like in my room. Some people might say that I give money away or I’m throwing money away with the things that I buy but I buy things to keep me from being bored. I do what makes me happy. I have given money to the poor on the street before. I’m not that much of a selfish person just really materialistic. Really I cannot say why I think and do the things I do. I certainly was not raised this way but I guess it just happened because of the world we live in and what we see on television. Well also I think because I was an only child and my mom used to get me everything I wanted so I guess that could contribute to this so called problem also. I have a real problem with saving money and I know I really need to start saving because school is becoming expensive. I am currently in school taking the general courses to transfer to a major university because I want to be a doctor. Well I want to really be a plastic surgeon that’s really my dream. I know I have a long way to go but I’m determined to make it all the way there. At first I just wanted to be an internal medicine doctor but after talking to a friend of mine she told me she could see me more of a plastic surgeon and of course I fed into it and after thinking about it for a while I decided I really could see myself doing that also. My family especially my mom said that it wouldn’t be good because of the amount of school that would be needed and I would be almost 40 years old when I was done but I don’t care I ‘m still going to go for it. I remember reading Debate 6 in You Decide and it talked about asking the question Who am I? Before I started writing this I actually sat down and thought about whom I actually was, especially since this is going to be my own autobiography. As soon as I started writing I started to notice things about myself that I really never paid attention to good and bad. It almost seemed like I was caught up in my whole world and not my surroundings and what ever was not apart of my world or in my bubble I didn’t care about. And truthfully I’ve ruined a lot of relationships that way because of my selfishness. But of course I’m still in denial about that. That text just really stuck out to me in more ways then one. Maybe even a life change coming because of that text. Its really too soon to say but I know it will be a working progress and I’m willing to take the time. Hopefully before it’s too late. Now do I think I can make the world a better place by being a plastic surgeon? Maybe, maybe not but I know I will be able to help people who really need my help and not just people who have issues of their breast size and or shape of their back side. Now I spend my free time probably I think the same way that any guy does. Like I said previously I have some friends whom I’ve known between 10-20 years so we have our little adventures. We do the basic things like hang out, go to movies, go bowling, and talk about girls and stupid people. The one thing that I do with my friends that most people don’t is that I sometimes video record our adventures together. It’s something we’ve done since high school and we have made videos and have put them on you tube for the whole world to see and people have really come to enjoy our antics. Its all for entertainment purposes of course, to entertain each other and others. But when I’m not with my friends I like to relax at home watch some television, maybe watch some of these movies I have, listen to music, and research topics online to talk about on my online radio show. I will admit I do have my boring days where the whole day just sucks and I just want it to be over so I can start off the next day better. I sleep only 5 maybe 6 hours a day. I don’t need much sleep to function I just need to keep busy. I remember reading in chapter 6 of Coffee and Philosophy it talked about fatalism which is saying that you do have a destiny. I do believe I have a destiny and it is to be a plastic surgeon. It actually took me a long time to find my destiny. I started off in high school not knowing what I wanted to do but go to college and see beautiful women everywhere have party then decide later on my future. After graduating, I decided to go to an art college for 2 years and after being there it wasn’t for me, so next was Merritt College. I spent some time there before deciding to join the United States Navy. And after that short but good experience I returned back to Merritt College this past year. Things did start off slow for me but as I got back into the mode of school I started to get myself together and that’s when I decided I wanted to be a doctor. And that’s where I am right now this second. Before joining the military I really didn’t vote at all. It was just something that if I didn’t understand what I was voting for I didn’t do it. But this past election I really took interest because of it being an African American candidate running to be president of the United States. That was something I thought would never happen in my lifetime at least. I really started paying attention to what the news said and what the candidates were talking about. Election day was the first time I have ever voted in my life. It was a wonderful experience. Just seeing obstacles like that being taking down really makes you think about your life and what you should be standing for. One a serious note, writing this autobiography has really opened my eyes to things in my life as far as my future that I should really pay attention to. I need to be more focused on what I’m doing and not always looking for the easy way out of everything. That is certainly something my mom and grandmother did not teach me growing up. I think I’ve let materials and television impact my worldview a little bit too much. And as I got older it had gotten worse. I’m sure everybody will agree that things just seemed so much easier when you were younger. I think all the religion classes I took during my years in grade school and high school has stuck with me to a certain aspect. A whole lot of stuff of course I have forgotten threw the years because once the classes were over I figured I really didn’t feel the need to go back and read those books again but now that I’m older I think there is nothing wrong with going back and maybe going over some things in your life and maybe try to go back make things right or if you did somebody wrong you can go back and make things right between you and that person. You will feel better and probably make that person feel better in the end also. I thought writing an autobiography about myself would be easy but it really isn’t. As you write and you start going over your life you really start to think about all the stuff you’ve been through and things you regret and things you could have done differently. Truthfully I really don’t know why I act or do the things I do. Well maybe for excitement or because of boredom? That’s something I probably wont ever figure or maybe I really don’t want to know. There are some things in life that go without question and maybe you should search for the answer because you wont like what you find. I do realize as I get older things become more difficult. Just like for example in Debate 6 in You Decide, it said that your body is constantly becoming remade. So as I got older I started to change certain things about myself and my mode of thinking sometimes not for the good but I usually made it work the way I wanted it to. I wasn’t much of a reader of books growing up; well actually I hated to read it was one of those things that upset me. It wasn’t that I had a hard time reading I just didn’t want to take the time to read a whole lot of pages unless it was something that I choose and wanted to read. But as I gotten older and got into college I knew that reading was a necessity and I had to change my ways. At first I avoided classes that had to do with a lot of reading but when I had no choice and I had to take English and Philosophy I quickly stepped up. I look at everyday like a battle. You win some, you lose some, but its how you handle yourself day by day that matters. I’ll admit I don’t always do the best I do get lazy at times but who doesn’t? That can be your downfall in the end. What you have to do, something that I learned the hard way is stand up tall and always pushes forward no matter what! Never go backwards! Like for example when I am no longer with a girlfriend and then some time later she talks about maybe getting back together I don’t do it. The term I use is recycling. I don’t recycle I only move forward I never go backwards. I know that might be a bad example but if you know me then you will understand. Sticking to your morals and what you believe in is important to how you live your life. Whether you believe in God or not doing what is right is always good and good things will happen to you. Just remember always hold your head up high people can notice a confident person. You are responsible for your own life and what goes into it and life is to short to dwell on the past so make the best of the present and focus on your future.

Coming out of retirement!!

So everyone I have decided to come out of retirement and make ONE more film. Now I havent done a film in about 4 or 5 years, yes its been a while. But with the ideas I have for this film this will be one of the best i've ever done in my lifetime. A film of this magnitude is destined for greatness in my eyes. The pre-production is under way now. We are writing and get down all the ideas about what we are going to do for this film, where you going to film this at, and the amount of money this may cost us. I will be blogging updates daily about the film. When i know something, you will know something! The goal is to have the film done by christmas but we know how that might go but we plan on having a preview of the film done and on youtube by september hopefully sooner. I'm going back to my roots for this film. I will be writing, directing, and co-producing this film. So you already know what to be in store for with this one lol!!